Empathy

A friend of mine, David, wrote this email today:

Dear all,

For some strange reason I woke up this morning with this really peculiar feeling. A strange sense of self doubt that I couldn't get rid of.

Just after midnight my two beautiful boys had come to sleep in the bed with me, and when I rolled over and saw them I realised how lucky I was, and I stopped to gaze at their sleeping faces for a while.

I got out of bed and went to sort out breakfast. I normally have left-over pizza, but today that just didn't seem right. I wasn't sure what I should have but I knew it had to be low fat and low carbs. I didn't have anything like that in the fridge so I had some fruit instead. Then I opened the freezer and ate the last three Mini Magnums.

I went to have a shower, and for some reason I just couldn't get myself clean. I had to wash my hair twice, and leave the conditioner in for 15 minutes. When i got out of the shower I spend another 15 minutes looking in the mirror. I used three different towels getting dry, but finally I got out of the bathroom having applied some of every different cologne and deodorant I have. I even put gel in my hair, which I normally never do.

Then I couldn't decide what wear, and I got very conscious of how tight my pants were around the waist. I did a second trip to the mirror to try and see what I looked like from behind.

After trying on 3 different shirts I phoned Chris, who said he was having a strange morning too. He had an important meeting and was wearing his suit to work. He was no help but finally I settled for my Van Huessen shirt. When I tried on the shoes I wear every day, I realised how scuffed they were, and decided that today I'd skip lunch to look for new shoes on special.

For some reason I paid special attention to the kids' lunches and even wrote them a little note with a picture of a loveheart telling them how special they are.

I made them breakfast and woke them up. Whilst they were eating I turned on morning TV just as the celebrity gossip section came on. I couldn't believe the way they treat Angelina Jolie over her Vietnamese adoption; it's just terrible it....it brought a tear to my eye. But she is a bit of a stuck up bitch, and I bet those lips are full of collagen.

Finally I got the boys dressed and then spent 10 minutes freaking out looking for my car keys. Then I realised my phone battery was flat, but I didn't have time to charge it so I stuck it back into my pocket.

When I dropped the boys off at day care I was really torn -- I felt like quitting work to spend more time with them. As I drove off with this feeling I couldn't put my finger on, I flicked on the radio and heard something that made it all become clear.....

Today is International Women's Day.

So to all my wonderful sisters......you go girls!

He's single at present :)

Common GTD Mistake #1: Someday/Maybe does not mean just Maybe

One of my many, many, ill-fitting hats is "GTD advocate". GTD is a system for managing your personal workflow. If you haven't heard of GTD before, check out this post at GetRichSlowly.org, or the more abstract description from Wikipedia.

I thought I'd start a little series of GTD tips, with this observation:

Someday/Maybe does not mean just Maybe.

GTD has a "Someday/Maybe" category, but a lot of people avoid putting their projects into that category because they think that means the project might never get done. They're imagining that Someday/Maybe is like saying, "someday, maybe, I'll do this thing". Not so! The slash means "or", so putting something in that category can also be like saying "I will (definitely) do this some day".

One of the reasons for the Someday/Maybe list is to keep your Next Action lists as short as possible. When you have a less urgent project that you know you aren't going to get to for a few weeks, you should move that project to the Someday/Maybe list. It takes away the actions you know you aren't going to do (just yet), and makes it easier to decide what you will do.

Don't be scared of putting definite projects in to Someday/Maybe. Remember that you look at every project at your weekly review, so at worst you're only ignoring the project for one week.

So use Someday/Maybe for more than just "Learn the viola", use it for your Not Until Next Month projects — your Next Action lists and your life will both get simpler!